Shower Revelations
by PolkaDotMama
Summary: Outtakes from Sketchbook Revelations. The boys don't always tell me everything as it happens and I find out about it after the fact. I am simply compelled to record their stories and feel it necessary to share them with you. Enjoy!
1. Shower Revelations

A/N: Here is a little outtake from Sketchbook Revelations. It takes place during Edward and Jasper's happy time that Jasper just so happened to skim over in his point of view, due to his less than verbose ways. I talked to Edward and he decided to share with me what happened on one of those days.

This goes out to my new friend, Dark Absynthe, whose birthday is Saturday. Happy Birthday, BB! From our conversations, I would swear we were separated at birth. ;) Hope you have a great day doing fun things with your BF!

And thank you to Touchstone67 for getting this beta'd in record time. You rock my world!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in the following story. They totally own me! No seriously, they own me!

* * *

Shower Revelations

Clasping the mail in my hand I headed in the house, sorting the bills from the junk mail, smiling when I found Entertainment Weekly neatly tucked behind the pile. _Ah, relaxation reading._ I had about 2 hours before I had to be anywhere and Jasper's truck was parked in the garage, so maybe we could spend a little _quality_ time together. It had been over a week; that's like 3 months is straight relationships.

I don't know how this happened so early in our relationship, but it wasn't for lack of desire, that's for sure. In fact, Jasper walked around home with a hard on most of the time. I wondered how he could do that, but the slightest brush of skin, or kiss, and he was shaking his head, disgusted with himself. I found it endearing, actually. The fact that I had that effect on him was flattering and how he handled it was so funny. Perhaps it was because he had finally allowed himself to be attracted to men, and now his body was working overtime, like a teenager trying to get through the schoolday without being affected by the girls around him.

But it wasn't girls for Jasper any more.

It was me, and I was glad it was me, so I did things to make it even more challenging for him.

A few months ago, I noticed that Jasper had begun conveniently coming in my room when I was putting my underwear on. His eyes would dart around the room, as if he were trying to look anywhere but my groin, but as soon as he thought I wasn't looking, his eyes would be all over my basket, checking out how it was decorated. This had started before he came out to me, but I thought he was just curious about something besides tighty whiteys or boxers. Now I knew it was a whole lot more. He was checking me out, and once I realized this, I went on an underwear buying spree. While he was the underwear model, I was the one who purchased the stuff he modeled and then some. One day while searching for some new styles, I ran across a pair of turquoise mesh bikini briefs with contrasting black trim. I knew immediately that I had to have them...or should I say that Jasper needed to have me in them. That was a no brainer purchase. When I slipped them on before we headed out to the club, Jasper didn't know what to do with himself. Running his fingers along every line and curve of me and then tracing the black trim, his eyes took me in for several minutes. He has since made it perfectly clear that those are his favorite underwear and he made sure I got them in every color available.

His favorites were still the turquoise.

Walking back toward our room, I dressed in the red pair of mesh underwear, some comfortable pajama pants and a white tank. Jasper was nowhere to be found, so I laid back on the couch to read. About half way through the magazine, which I read from back to front so I could read The Bullseye page first, Jasper snuck past, not seeing me. Hearing the shower jets turn on, I continued paging through the magazine, not paying attention as my eyes skimmed over words without recognition. My mind kept going to visions of Jasper naked under the rainfall shower head, water cascading down his perfectly plump ass. Abandoning my magazine, I stepped out of my pajama pants, leaving them in the middle of the living room floor and trailing my scant clothes on the way to our bathroom.

I silently walked in, peering through the steam that had already filled the room and stalked toward him. The tiniest click gave me away as I shut the glass shower door behind me. Turning around, Jasper smirked at me and winked. "I see I'm going to have some company. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

_Using his southern charm on me and even bringing out the accent? I'm fucking in love with this man._

"You walked right past me on your way in here, and I couldn't concentrate on anything but the thought of water tumbling over your ass," I growled grabbing his cheeks and roughly squeezing them. "Fuck, it's just perfect. Turn around and put your hands on the wall," I demanded and he quickly complied.

Pouring a small amount of body wash on my hands, I started washing his back, rubbing vigorously to create a rich lather that I slid down between his cheeks as I started soaping his ass. He moaned as he arched his back slightly, letting my fingers explore deeper. My other hand reached around to stroke his cock, feeling it thicken and lengthen beneath my fingers. Jasper leaned his forehead against the tiled wall, bending his elbows and resting is forearms above his head. He freely vocalized his pleasure, my dick hardening at the sounds he was making as my fingers teased and taunted his tender flesh.

"Oh fuck, Edward. I want your mouth on me." He didn't need to ask me twice. Rinsing all the bubbles from his ass, I led him to the other end of the shower stall, pushing his hands down to rest on the shower seat. Getting behind him on my knees I buried my face in his ass, licking and tasting around his puckered skin. He pushed back toward me, my tongue entered him and I slapped his ass, the sound reverberating off the hard surfaces. Hitting his cheeks several more times, his skin started to get a nice rosy hue that simply made him look edible. When I bit him, he growled and my need to eat his other cheek overwhelmed me. I felt my teeth sink into his skin, as I sucked, kissed and licked him.

Moving back to his heated center, I moaned as his pleated flesh melted around my tongue, conceding its entrance. As I delved into him, pulling his cheeks apart to get deeper, I felt his body shake as he vigorously pumped his hard cock with his hand. Not wanting to miss out, I spun his body around, shoving him in the seat and immediately started sucking up and down his shaft, swirling my tongue around the head, my hands massaging his ass.

With nearly every exhalation, Jasper moaned, intermixing "Fucks", "Edwards" and "Ungs." Licking and tasting along his length, I moved down toward his ass, not leaving an inch of skin untouched. I grabbed his ankles, pushing his knees toward his chest and set his feet on the seat beside him as he leaned back on his hands, lifting himself from the ledge, giving me better access. Pulling his balls into my mouth, I felt his textured skin gliding along my tongue before I gently sucked and massaged his hot flesh. Releasing him I took wet, noisy licks up and down and around him, as I took his cock deep down my throat. He started thrusting his hips, knees falling to the side and fucking my mouth. Just when I heard his breathing starting to get erratic, he slammed his feet to the shower floor, pulling me to my feet.

His eyes were darkened with lust, an intensity like I hadn't seen before. "Down on your hands and knees," he demanded as he walked to turn off the waterfall shower head and adjust the wall mounted jets to spray a very light mist. I complied and moved closer to the faucet when he spanked my ass, calling "Come on, get a move on little cowboy." We both chuckled as I made my way across the tile on my hands and knees. Hearing him reach for the supply of condoms and lube we now kept in the shower, I heard him rip open two wrappers. I turned my head to see what he was doing when I felt his hand come down hard on my ass. "Keep your head down, Edward. I want you watching your cock grow as I plow your ass," he growled.

_Holy shit! Who is this man and what has he done with Jasper? Fuck, I don't care. I'll take him!_

Latching on to my left wrist, he rested it on the faucet handle and began to tie it to the metal with a condom, before repeating the process with my right arm. Mist flowed over my back, warming my body, a tiny puddle gathering in the small of my back along my spine. Jasper's fingers circled the gathering water before he trailed down between my fleshy cheeks. Pushing back into his touch, I heard him quickly open the lube and sensed a chill ooze down my skin before feeling him fill my ache. Condom number three was torn open and I arched further, begging him to take me, when I felt the burning pressure of his thick cock filling me up.

Only a moment he waited, before pulling back and thrusting into me forcefully. My upper body weight was supported entirely by the faucet and as he continued pumping my ass, my arms started to shake from the effort.

"Holy Fucking Shit, Jasper. Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!" My voice was deep, gasping as I begged him to take me and make me his. I wanted him to dominate me. His hand rested on my head, pushing it down, reminding me what my purpose was.

"Tell me Edward, tell me about your cock. Describe it to me," he dictated. "Now!"

_Seriously, who is this man?_

"Uhm...it's already hard...fucking raging...in fact..the head is nearly purple with the blood flowing through it," I slowly made out between breaths.

"I bet it's beautiful, hanging there between your legs, swing back and forth as I pound into your fucking tight hole, isn't it?" His voice was smooth, letting me know he was in perfect control as I knelt there barely hanging on...and he hadn't even fucking touched my dick once!

"Yes, Jasper, my thick cock is moving below me, and my balls are swaying. Gah! Fuck it feels good!" I nearly screamed, the sound reverberating off the walls. It didn't take much more. I was so close when Jasper started slapping my ass and the sensation of pain mixed with pleasure pushed me over the edge. My muscles contracted around him and thick, white ropes of cum shot onto the shower floor, slowing making their way to the drain.

Without missing a beat, Jasper continued plowing my ass, forcing himself deeper into me as my arms trembled. Wrapping his fingers in my hair, he roughly pulled my head up and pressed my forehead into the wall tile, easing the muscle strain in my arms, but doing little to help with my shaking legs.

"Do you want to cum again, Edward? Would you like that? Do you want your cock in my hand?" His voice was betraying the cool demeanor he was trying to portray, but I was a complete fucking mess writhing beneath him, unable to speak and barely able to nod my head. "Do you want me to touch you, Edward?" he said, taunting me.

"Yes, Jasper, please hold me. I want to cum again. I'm ready for you to help me cum," I choked out, barely able to breathe.

Finally...fucking finally, I felt fingers wrapping around my rigid cock and I sighed at his touch. Leaning his body across my back, careful not to lean on me, Jasper reached for the wall to support his own weight as he slid his hand up and down my sensitive flesh. It felt so good to have him touching me, stroking me, and running his thumb across my head. Concentrating most of his effort near the top, I sensed I wouldn't last long, despite the fact that I had just shot a load five minutes earlier.

Jasper's movements were becoming erratic, obviously having difficulty focusing on pleasuring me with his hand _and_ his dick. Pumping furiously with renewed energy, Jasper brought me to my second climax, much more forceful than the first, cum shooting against the wall before running down the tile and draining away. He lifted his body from my back, powerfully gripping my hips and thrust one, two, three times before burying his cock deep inside me and keeping it there. He growled and hissed, leaving himself in me to slowly soften as his hands tenderly stroked the length of my back and the curve of my buttocks.

When any sign of an erection had passed from both of our bodies, Jasper pulled himself from me and released my wrists. I collapsed, face first, to the shower floor before he pulled me back into his chest, kissing the skin behind my ear.

"Are you okay, babe?" he asked, concern hanging in the air.

"Oh, I'm more than okay, just exhausted. I've never been so thoroughly fucked in my life." My breath still burned in my chest, taking forever to return to normal.

Jasper stood up behind me, supporting me under my arms as he helped me to my feet. Turning off the mist, he led me to the shower ledge and dried me off before toweling himself off. "Come on, beautiful. Let's get you to the bed. I think after that, you deserve a little snooze." Leaning toward me, he opened his mouth, languidly kissing me before walking with me to our bedroom.

Settling into the soft, white sheets with Jasper behind me, I could still feel him inside of me, reminding me that the love of my life gave me the best fuck I had ever had.


	2. Christmas Wrapping

**Warning:** If you are not over 18, please go elsewhere for your entertainment. This story contains slash, so if you are not cool with that, this story isn't for you.

**A/N:** I may yet get chapter 23 of Sketchbook Revelations out before Christmas, but I wanted to give you all a little treat on top of that. Do you remember when Edward woke up Christmas morning sore in all the right places? Well, this is why he was sore.

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns all of Twilight. I own a great "getting to know you book" called Coke or Pepsi that I took on a recent trip to meet fellow fan fiction writers. Now I know them better.

* * *

Christmas Wrapping

Picking up the discarded wrapping paper, I tried to sort out what could be recycled and saved the bows to be used again before I threw the rest in the trash. Our first Christmas together had gone over better than I had imagined; relaxed, easy, and totally natural, just what I had planned.

Well, of course it felt natural, we were naked for most of the day.

When I had opened Edward's gift, I was blown away. Not only had he taken a lot of time and effort into making the leather cuffs for us, but the meaning behind each symbol was so well thought out that the band around my wrist represented us and who we were together. That was amazing to me.

I sensed Edward walk into the kitchen, his arms slipping around my waist and hands skimming past the fabric of my shirt to graze the sensitive skin just above my waistband. Being held from behind was something that felt so right, so perfect, and yet it was something that I had never experienced before Edward. It was almost as if I felt protected by his arms, never realizing how intensely I needed to feel that from him until that moment.

"Take me to bed, Love. I want you to fuck me," he whispered in my ear, and my body shuddered as his breath rushed past the sensitive skin on my neck.

I turned around, bent over to pick him up and threw him over my shoulder, slapping his ass as I walked toward our bedroom.

"Caveman Jasper. I like this," he said as he returned a smack on my ass and laughed around the kisses he was planting on my back.

When we got to our room, I threw him onto the bed and he bounced a few times from the force of his landing before I pulled him toward the edge of the bed by his hips. Standing in front of him, between his legs, I started to kiss the arch of his bare foot that I had rested on my shoulder. Looking down at him with what I'm sure was a look of pure lust, he smiled up at me, his eyes darkening as his impish look gave way to an opened mouth groan when I bit down on his foot.

"I have one more present to unwrap, it looks like," I teased, dropping his leg beside me and pushing his shirt up with my nose as I kissed up the fine line of hair above his waist band that taunted me.

"Damn, I forgot to put a bow on it," he smirked

"So you want to be tied up, huh? I can accommodate you, Babe."

Walking to the closet in the hall, I found the bag of bows next to wrapping paper and settled on a long piece of silky ribbon that I thought would serve the purpose. On top of that, it was the perfect shade of green to match his eyes and thinking about him wrapped up for me made my cock react, creeping down the leg of my jeans.

When I walked back in the room, Edward was laying in the same position but had lifted his feet onto the bed, legs bent at the knees and spread, giving me the perfect view of his ass. I stopped in my tracks the moment I saw him and said, "Fuck Edward. Do you have any clue what you are doin' to me?"

"I think I do. You're pants are telling me exactly what I'm doing to you," he said as he raised a brow and looked down at my obvious erection.

Shrugging, I walked to the other side of the bed, near his head, and reached across his torso to pull his shirt over his head, but couldn't resist kissing his raspberry colored lips. Kissing his mouth from that position felt strange but surprisingly erotic as we easily sucked on each other's bottom lips, the exquisite feel of his tongue sliding against mine as the deepest reaches of our mouths could be explored. I reluctantly leaned back as his cotton t-shirt passed between us and quickly resumed tasting his silky tongue. Brushing my nose against his chin, I felt how his once rough whiskers had started to soften with their length and my lips craved the sensation on the responsive skin of my lips.

Deeply, I breathed in his minty scent as I kissed across his jaw and down his neck, biting the sensitive spot that always drove him mad. I watched his dick twitch as my teeth bit into his muscle again and I smiled when he cursed and grabbed my head, pushing my head back to the juncture of his neck and shoulder to urge me to bite him again. Ever so lightly, I ran my fingertips down each of his arms as I continued to give his neck what he craved, being careful not to leave any marks. When my fingers slid between his, curling around his hand possessively, I backed away and stood while pulling his hands above his head and holding them with one of my own.

"Put your palms together, Edward," I said in a deep, yet soft voice while pushing his leather cuff past his wrist bone to allow room for what I wanted to do. He tilted his head back to look at me and fulfilled my request without any question, yet his eyes burned into me and the left side of his mouth slowly crept into a smile. Sliding the slippery ribbon between my fingers, I doubled it to find the center and placed it under his wrists, inserting the loose ends through the loop and creating a slipknot, using my palm as a spacer so it wouldn't be too tight. Wrapping the ribbon around his arms until I had only enough length left for one more round, I pulled the ends through the lark, cross wrapping the rope between his wrists, tying it off with a square knot. "I guess all those years as a boy scout paid off, huh? Bet they didn't think I'd be using all those skills to tie up by gay lover though," I chuckled while Edward joined in.

"No, I suppose not, but I'm sure glad you know about knot tying, because now your present has a pretty green bow. Now get over here and unwrap the rest, please."

Rather than take the time to walk around, I crawled across the mattress and said, "You don't have to ask me twice." One by one, I unbuttoned his fly, slowly revealing the wide black waistband of his underwear. "I wonder what I'm going to find under the first layer," I purred, looking up at him through my lashes as I ran my nose across the elastic, taking in the scent that instantaneously made my mouth water. Lazily, my eyes closed as I moved from one hip to the other, breathing deeply as I slid the faded denim from his raised hips. I wanted his underwear to be a surprise but I allowed my hands to travel across the slick material as I unhurriedly pushed his jeans over his full ass and down his taut legs. When I heard them drop to the floor, I finally allowed myself the privilege of looking down on the package I was most desperate to open.

I laughed out loud when I saw what he was wearing and had to ask, "Polka dots? Seriously?"

"Fuck yes, polka dots. They're classic," he said in mock affront before his smile took over his face.

Standing between his legs, I allowed myself a moment to appraise his underwear choice of the evening as I moved the back of my fingers lazily through the downy hair below his belly button. The pattern on the low-cut boxer briefs consisted of several sizes of polka dot, from large dots on a white background to smaller white spots on a lime green backdrop. I loved the colors, black, brown, green, and turquoise; retro and reminiscent of the 60's. His cock was straining against the innocent motif on the basket and I finally decided my study was done when I saw his cock pulse and felt my own reflexively move as well.

Not wanting to unwrap Edward just yet, I ran my palms up the outside of his thighs, allowing them to rest on the silky fabric at his hips and I leaned in and started kissing the large polka dots near his hips, making sure I didn't miss a one. The closer I got to his pouch, the deeper I started to inhale, and as I started to place my lips everywhere but on his cock and balls, I pulled his feet back onto the bed so I could reach everywhere I wanted.

I could tell that he was getting desperate for me to touch him, his hips moving toward my mouth with every kiss, his vocalizations becoming louder, and his elbows bending, wrists straining against their simple binding. When I finally allowed my mouth to touch him through the thin fabric, he could no longer contain the string of profanity that spilled past his lips. I took his hard cock between my lips, massaging it as I moved up and down his staff. Moving lower, I mouthed his balls, taking each into my mouth's warm embrace, all the while taking in his essence, closing my eyes to savor it.

My fingers must have had a mind of their own, because before I knew it, Edward's underwear were slipping past my lips, aided only by my hands. How I removed them without even realizing what I was doing, I will never know, but I was never happier to see polka dots disappear and copper curls take their place.

"Fuck, you are beautiful, Edward. I like you without all the wrapping better," I said as I lackadaisically licked up the silky skin of his dick, savoring every vein and curve all the way up to his seeping head. Simply tasting him made my cock get even harder and as I took him deep down my throat, I hummed around him, forcing him to take a quick breath through this teeth before he rolled his head to the side and moaned, dropping his knees open further. Wet and noisy, I slid my mouth up and down his cock, releasing him from time to time as I stroked him, sucking his balls into my mouth, and bringing him close to the edge before I slowed so he could recover.

Realizing I was still completely dressed, I stood and hastily removed my clothes, throwing them toward the hamper and missing by a long shot. Edward watched me and was about to make a comment when I raised a brow in challenge and he bit his bottom lip to keep from speaking. I nodded and smirked. We both knew how we played this game; I was the one in charge, at least for the moment.

With that thought, I lifted Edward's hips, bringing his knees to his chest and I leaned across his body to make sure the ribbon wasn't cutting into his skin. His gaze followed my movements and when I knelt on the edge of the bed and started to relax him with my tongue, he brought his hands to my hair and twisted a few curls between his fingers with the minimal movements his bindings allowed. Looking up at him, I could tell from the lines between his brows that he was getting close to cumming so I licked only a few more times across all his sensitive skin and finished with a kiss on the head of his cock before I lowered his feet back to the bed.

"Now," I started in a teasing tone, "if I remember correctly, you asked me to take you to bed and fuck you, is that correct Mr. Cullen?"

"I do believe that was my request, Mr. Whitlock. Do you feel you're _up_ to it?" he challenged.

"_Up_ to it?" I asked as I reached in his bedside table for a condom and lube and started to get ready for what he had asked for. "Do you really think that I'm _not up _to it?" I asked as I looked down to my now sheathed dick hovering so close to his ass at the edge of the mattress.

"Jasper, Love. You are always _up _to it. In fact," he stopped talking with a quick intake of breath as I pushed the head of my cock past his tight hole. He groaned and then started again as I pulled back and slowly began to fill him, getting deeper with each short stoke, "In fact, I think...you would be ready...ah fuck, that feels great...any time of the day...with your...fucking raging...hard ons. Fuck Jasper. Fucking fuck me already. Stop pussy footin' around." His eyes were closed tight as I started to laugh but his green gaze quickly met mine and I felt his legs wrap around my hips as he pulled me deeper into him.

Leaning over his body and resting on my forearms, I made sure to plant my feet in a wide stance so I would have stability and when I thrust firmly into him, I dug my toes into the rug with every forward movement of my hips.

"Is this what you want, Edward? Am I fucking you like you wanted me to?"

"Harder. Fuck me harder, Jasper."

Pushing him back onto the bed so that his arms now hung off the other side, I pushed his knees forward, resting them on the comforter near his shoulders while I held him there by the ankles. I climbed on the bed and stood above his ass, squatting as I slid into his awaiting body. "Ah fuck, Jazz," Edward said, closing his eyes and moaning as I used my body weight to bury myself deep inside of him. I thrust a few times from above before I allowed my knees to skim down his outer thighs and rest on the mattress.

"Is that it?" I asked as I fucked his ass. "Is it hard enough or do you want me to fuck you harder?" He was breathing heavy as our skin slapped together and didn't answer. "Tell me if you got what you want Edward. I need to know."

His eyes popped open to look at me and he nodded, unable to catch his breath long enough to speak.

Dropping one ankle, I licked my hand and took his cock in my hand, gliding over his velvety skin, moving just how he liked it. As my hips circled and my hand flew over his flesh, my mouth found the clean skin of the arch of his foot once again.

I didn't know if I was going to be able to hold out for him, so close to falling over the edge.

"Edward, I can't hold on. Cum with me, Baby."

We watched each other, our bodies moving together effortlessly, eyes focused intently as the room disappeared around us and our mutual climax took us into a conjoined euphoric state. Never did our gaze waver as our bodies released in surge after surge.

I felt as if I could have stayed in that position for the rest of the night but I knew that Edward was most likely going to be sore if I didn't lower his legs, so reluctantly I pulled myself from him warm body and we both whimpered pathetically at the loss. Smiling at him, I headed for the bathroom to clean up and to bring a warm washcloth to use on him. By the time I returned to settle in, it appeared he was already asleep, his arms still bound above his head.

"Hey," I whispered. "I think you'd be more comfortable if I fully unwrapped you, don't you?"

He lazily turned his head and barely opened his eyes and a small, contented smile spread across his flushed lips. "Do you think you're ready to take on the responsibility of this gift I'm giving you?"

"You, Edward, are the most important thing to me," I said as I started to untie my knot. "There is nothing in this world that would ever unbind me from you." With every few words spoken, I unwrapped his wrists. "What we have will survive anything. _ Anything._" I slipped the last loop of green ribbon from his wrists and pulled him toward the head of the bed with me as I smoothed over the lines left on his skin.

We climbed under the warm blankets, Edward resting his head on my chest, his hand lying gently across my hip. Reaching for this hand, I ran my fingertips over the textured leather around his wrist.

"Edward, my heart is yours."

"I think I'll let you tie me up in a bow more often if it means you talk to me like this, Jasper," he teased, but deep down, I knew he really meant it. He kissed my chest and mouth before he rolled onto his side, grabbing my arm and wrapping it around his chest as his legs tangled with mine. "I love you. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you, my treasure."

* * *

Hope you have a great holiday, no matter what you celebrate. Safe travels to all.


	3. Cravings

**AN: **I met a great woman through Sketchbook Revelations that I swear is my twin. Saturday is a very significant birthday for her. RAWR! Who'da thunk you could meet such great friends by writing smut?

Happy Birthday, MissJenD. This is for you.

It's a little treat for the rest of you too. If you are wondering about the timing, it's post-Valentine's Day, pre-fight, when things were very tense.

* * *

**Cravings**

It had been weeks since I'd allowed myself to touch Edward aside from the occasional kiss, the joined hands or the rare moments that I'd slip into bed behind him after he had fallen asleep. I didn't want to hurt him again or lose control but that didn't take away my desire, my need for him. Trying to deny your body the one thing it craves when it is basically sitting right out in front of you is like torture.

Earlier in the day, Edward had laughed while writing something on the grocery list. It had been weeks since I had heard his musical laughter, and it drew me to him. Before I was fully aware of my actions, I was wrapping my arms around his narrow waist and breathing in his minty-clean scent. What I felt from him was just what I wanted and exactly what I couldn't have. He wanted me and relaxed into my chest. His hips pushed back and I ground into him. I left for the rest of the day so I wouldn't be tempted anymore.

He was in a deep sleep at nearly two in the morning and I dared slide in behind him in our bed. The moment his warm, silky skin touched mine I moaned out a sigh. It was like heaven and we fit perfectly together.

For nearly thirty minutes, I allowed myself to press him against me and listen to his breathing and feel his heart beat beneath my fingers before I let go and began to drift. I shifted. My cock rubbed against him, between his cheeks, and I couldn't stop my body's natural reaction to thrust into him again. It was when Edward moaned in his sleep and arched his back to meet my thrusts that I realized what was happening. I immediately stopped and tried to put distance between our bodies but his sleeping form would have nothing to do with the negative space. He pushed back until he met my chest again _and_ my cock, which was now rigid. _No!_ I thought as I stood and pressed a pillow into his back to halt his advances.

I walked into the bathroom and turned on the water, not waiting for it to heat up. I needed to calm my body's reaction, so cold water would be just fine. As the rainfall showerhead spilled over my head, it was already warm. _Damn on-demand hot water heater. _The heat did nothing to help the state of my erect cock, and the feel of the water running down my length and trailing off the sensitive tip only made matters worse.

My hand instinctively smoothed over my chest, and I stopped a moment to roll my nipples before continuing down my stomach. I wanted it to be his hands on me so I rested both palms on my hips and slid them down low on my stomach like he had done so many times. As I took my dick in my hand and squeezed, I heard the shower door's magnetic closure click shut.

Fear enveloped me, and I allowed my hands to drop away from my body and simply hang at my sides as I sensed him coming up behind me. _What do I do? I can't allow myself to hurt him again._ Visions and conversations whirled in my head as I tried to will him away, but he moved closer.

When I felt his palms pressed against my hips, full-on alarm and panic burst through me. I'm sure he sensed it from me because when he rested his chest against my back he said, "Shhhh. Don't move. I'm not going to hurt you, and I won't make you do anything that you don't want. I've got you covered, Jasper."

My muscles seemed to respond to his velvety smooth voice, and I melted into him as his hands descended past my small nest of curl and grasped onto my cock. I gasped as he slid both hands up and down my shaft and bit along my shoulder.

"Oh, fuck, love. You feel so good in my hands. So nice. So silky." He reached beside us and opened the silicone lubricant that was left in the shower and poured a few drops on his fingers before rubbing his palms together. When his hands returned, his touches were so much smoother, and he trailed his fingertips around my glans and allowed his other hand to explore the more textured skin of my balls. My body was on overload when he added my nipples into the mix. "You like that, don't you?" I could only move my head to answer him, enjoying every second of attention he was granting me. "You like it when I touch your dick, but do you like this, love?" he asked as a hand rounded my hip and slipped in between my cheeks.

I moaned at the sensation of him circling my tight hole with his finger, all slippery from the lube. Pushing back to encourage him, he laughed at my eagerness and told me to be patient, all the while pumping my cock and teasing my balls. I wanted to feel him inside of me, to have him fill me. He soon pulled his hand away, but I heard him open the bottle of lube again, and he began to bite my back in all the right places.

"Fuck, Edward. I want you inside of me … now."

With that confession, his finger was back, teasing and relaxing the pleated skin I so badly wanted him to breach and coax open. I slammed both palms into the tiled wall and arched my back, presenting myself to him and making it obvious that I was ready.

"Are you sure about this, Jasper? I don't know if you're ready yet," he said with concern in his voice.

"I'm fucking ready!" I nearly shouted before a pathetic, breathy whimper slipped out. "Please. Just please."

Water cascaded down my back, and I felt it pool at my lower back for a moment before it tumbled down my sides. It was hot and cleansing, but the tile under my hands remained cool and kept me from over heating from my pure desire.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and laid his body across my back in a magnificent embrace before I felt him press his finger forward. It was amazing to feel his slick finger enter my body, and I pushed back, fucking myself on his finger. Guttural sounds escaped from the back of my throat followed by my released breaths and gasps. Another finger, easily moving past my tight muscles that had learned how to accept this intrusion. I wanted another and said, "More," to get what I wanted. He complied, and I continued to fuck myself on his hand.

"My God, Jasper, you are so fucking beautiful. I never knew you'd respond like this."

"Fuck me now. I need your cock inside me."

I felt his cock teasing my entrance as he rubbed his smooth head up and down and even circling a few times. Then he pushed forward and I remembered to relax. My body seemed to open for him, and although there was some burning, it wasn't the pain I had expected. He filled me, and as he slowly moved in and out, allowing me to adjust to his girth, I rested my forehead on the tile so I could concentrate on the pleasure and pain I was feeling rather than hold my upper body up. I wanted all attention to be on the lower forty-eight.

"Tell me, how is it, love? I can pull out if it's too much for you," he offered, though it was completely unnecessary, and I told him as much when I pushed off the wall and buried his cock in me. He stayed there, holding my hips in his grasp, and I could hear strangled breaths escaping him.

Reaching for my cock, I pumped it, finding a cadence that was neither too fast nor too slow. Soon, Edward was matching my rhythm, or perhaps I was fucking myself on his dick. I'm not really sure. I got lost in the sensation of him filling me up and burying himself so deeply.

His warm hands would travel down my back in gentle lines, and he'd occasionally reach around me and help me stoke my cock. Every so often, he'd push my hand away and take over for me. I knew I was getting close, and when I told him, he cradled my balls in his hand and moved the heavy eggs in his fingers before he gently pulled.

I shifted my hips, and his angle changed just slightly. Cum was soon ribboning out the tip of my cock, my ass was clenching around him, and he was shooting his load into me as I milked him of everything he had.

Moving to a standing position, I felt empty when he pulled his cock from me, but my hand was covered in my release. I turned to face him.

"Edward," I said, and pain shot through my hand.

I blinked several times and shook my right arm, seeing semen fly and land on the wall beside me. Closing my eyes, I took a moment to gather myself and clenched my eyes tighter before opening them again.

The studio. The daybed. I was alone. As I scanned my body to see what had happened, I noticed I was nude, and I had the glass dildo in my ass.

_What the fuck? _

Had I honestly fucked myself with a dildo in my sleep and jacked myself to orgasm?

Apparently, I had and there was evidence all around me. _Well fuck!_

I stood from the bed and cleaned myself, the dildo, the bed and the wall as well as I could before pulling on the jeans and shirt that I had haphazardly thrown off of me in my sleep. Walking in the house, it was dark and silent except for the soft exhalations I heard that came in a regular rhythm. It was nearly two in the morning, and when I stopped in the bathroom off our bedroom, I saw that the shower was dry. It truly had been a dream.

Looking down at Edward's sleeping form, huddled in the fetal position in our bed, it was obvious that he was resting peacefully. His face was placid and calm. His dark lashes painted his cheeks and his raspberry lips were parted and lush. I had no desire to resist him so I stripped and walked to my side of the bed.

The moment I touched his heated skin, I felt like I was home. He scooted back into my chest and pulled my legs around his to create our familiar tangled mess. When I wrapped my arm around his waist, resting my open palm over his heart, he spoke.

"I miss you, Jasper. Please come back to me."

I placed soft kisses across his shoulder and pulled him tighter into me.

"I'm right here, baby. I'll never leave you."

* * *

**AN: **Don't forget to vote for The Slash Awards. Go to http://theslashawards. blogspot. com/ (take out the spaces)


	4. Diving In

**A/N:** I'm glad to give you guys a little outtake from Sketchbook Revelations again. This was originally written for AlsoFrightened6's birthday. I modified it a bit and had my betas go over it so it improved quite a bit, I think. :) Gotta love your beta.

When does this take place? Right after Chapter 32, which was JPOV and Chapter 33, which was EPOV. Jasper wanted you to know what was going on inside his head after spending a wonderful reunion weekend in Forks.

* * *

**Diving In**

We had to leave in less than an hour, but Edward and I were both dreading vacating the little piece of paradise we seemed to have discovered in his childhood home. When we came to Forks, I expected it to be a fairly nuts-and-bolts visit to make sure my mom was safe and sound. It ended up being so much more.

When we made love under the canopy of trees that dappled sunlight across our bodies, I found myself overcome with such emotion. I trusted Edward. I knew he'd always be there for me. I felt his love surround me—envelop me—as he filled me and thrust deep and hard, inhabiting me so that I cried out and clung to him with desperate fingers.

I didn't want to lose that sensation by allowing the mundane tasks of life to cloud over the brightness I allowed myself to finally feel again. Somehow, we'd need to maintain this feeling after we returned to Seattle and finished our senior year.

To bask in the relaxation a while longer, Edward and I decided to go swimming once again. As before, we were sans suits having forgotten them in our packing. Edward had swum several laps and was resting like a cat in the lone sunny patch that graced the floor. Lying on his back on the warmed tiles, he lazily kicked his feet in the shallow water.

The way the sun lit up all the colors in his hair with red and gold and brown drew my gaze as I climbed the ladder to the diving board. His eyes were closed with his arm thrown over, protecting them even more, so I felt completely uninhibited as I studied his form. He was pure perfection from pristine, pale skin to firm muscles that created shadows across his chest and abdomen.

As soon as my feet hit the rough texture of the diving board, I walked to the end and bent my knees, propelling the flexible plank into motion. Flying through the air, I felt the air hurry past my body and gravity pull my cock and balls down, sending a rushing sensation through my body. Several more times I bounced before I dove head first into the deep end of the pool. As I opened my eyes under water, I arched my back and began my ascent, surrounded by bubbles created by my body's movements and the air released from my lungs.

When I broke through the surface, my eyes immediately returned to his reclined form. There was a slight smirk on his face, a small lift of his right cheek, as I climbed the metal ladder poolside and made my way back to the diving board.

"You improving your form or just enjoying the feeling of your dick bouncing up and down?" he asked as he peeked at me from under his forearm.

I made my way to the end of the springboard and started to jump again, causing him to sit up and rest on his elbows so he could watch me. His gaze stayed on my groin. The higher I got, the more I felt gravity weighing down on my sensitive cock. I quickly looked down and slowed my bouncing. It was only then that I noticed just how hard I had gotten and reached to stroke my cock while the board came to a stuttering halt.

"Yep, just as I suspected," Edward wryly said before lying back down and covering his eyes again.

"So I guess that means you've enjoyed the free feeling of _your_ dick bouncing around, too, huh?" I asked but didn't wait for an answer as I dove deep, opening my eyes and swimming toward his feet.

As I kicked, pushing the water away from me and pulling it with my arms, I told myself that I had nothing to fear. Edward had already shown me that I could be intimate with him again and that I could maintain my control. He trusted me, and it was time that I started to trust myself.

I broke the surface about three feet from his legs, and I must have startled him because he was sitting up with this eyebrows hiding behind his damp russet fringe.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to freak you out," I said as I pushed the wet curls away from my face, raking my fingers across my scalp.

"Nah, don't worry about it. I'm just very relaxed here in the sun," he drawled as he lay back down and circled his legs in the water, drawing my eyes to his long and lean calves.

"Feels good to have some sun. We were lucky this weekend." I jabbered on about the weather but lost track of my own words as my eyes traveled down the shadows created on his leg by his defined muscles. His pale skin was dusted with cinnamon colored hair, and when I reached for his feet and applied some pressure, he groaned in pleasure. Only then did I allow my gaze to move up his body. When I reached the apex of his legs, his cock was hovering above his belly, hard as a fucking rock.

"Apparently _someone_ enjoyed _watching_ my sproingy dick, hmm?" I taunted as my palms traveled up his outer thighs and I stood between his knees.

"Mmm," was all I got in response as Edward kept his eyes closed and stretched his arms above his head to rest on the tile. He adjusted his hips slightly, allowing his cock to wave in front of me, teasing me, daring me to get closer—to touch it, to hold it … to fucking suck it.

I swallowed very loudly; the sound seemed to echo throughout the open space, reverberating against every hard surface including his cock that I was looking down upon. It was as if I had never seen a penis before, let alone Edward's, the way that I studied his flesh. The smooth skin was stretched taut over hard muscle, revealing a fine tracery of veins calling to me. Subtle changes in skin tone that I hadn't noticed before were now very evident to me. The darker skin of his balls ran all the way up to the pink head that was perfectly shaped and gathered together at that oh-so-sensitive spot that he loved for me to flutter my tongue against.

Moving closer, I brushed my cheek against his inner thigh, feeling the soft hair tease my skin.

"What are you doing, Jasper?" he asked with concern as he sat up and made eye contact with me. All the while, I trailed my cheeks, chin, lips and nose across his legs, allowing myself to get lost in his skin.

"I don't know, just … just following my instincts, I guess," I admitted.

"You don't have to do this if you aren't comfortable. Our relationship isn't about returning favors. It's about respect and trust and patience, and I don't want you to feel pressured." His voice was laced with worry and authenticity.

I smiled up at him and lazily closed my eyes, allowing myself to become adrift in his scent and feel. Breathing deeply, I smelled the chlorine from the pool but also his skin and the essence of Edward that would cause my mouth to water no matter what. The closer I moved toward his body, the more concentrated his scent became, and I no longer needed to breathe as deeply to smell Edward over the pool water.

When the distinctive feel of his scrotum hit my lips, I opened my mouth and kissed him. Taking care not to ram my solid dick into the pool wall, I rested against the surface and wrapped my hands around his full ass and squeezed. More kisses were placed against his balls, and he moaned, drawing my eyes up to him. He was fucking beautiful, leaning back on his open palms with his head thrown back, eyes closed in pleasure and his mouth ajar. The sunlight streamed in through the windows and blinded me slightly, but he was in perfect focus.

My tongue peeked out to taste him. The feel of his skin against my mouth was magnificent, and I opened wider to lick him with a flattened tongue from root to tip. He tasted remarkable, his body offering a few drops for me to sample—like an appetizer. It teased me, and I thought back to the evening in the shower when he asked me if I missed his flavor. He told me he could sometimes still taste me on the back of his tongue. I knew what he meant at that very moment as saliva pooled in my mouth. Rather than swallow it down, I used it to lavish his cock with perfect attention: licking up his length, massaging it with my lips and burying it deep in my throat.

"Fuck, Jasper," he called out as his hips lifted from the tile floor, pushing his cock further down my throat if that were possible. I quickly pulled off of him and greedily drew in a few much needed breaths before I smothered his balls with attention from my tongue and lips. He was soaked in my saliva, and I used the slippery consistency to bring him greater pleasure by rubbing my face all over his groin, which was now completely open to me since Edward had set his feet on the edge of the pool. Pulling him closer to me, I planted his ass right on the ledge and simply allowed myself to explore nearly every inch of skin that was exposed.

His ripe, little rosebud was tightly drawn, and while I had no intention of fucking him, my tongue wanted to taste him. But something stopped me. I was still very much afraid that I could possibly lose my control, and his beautiful asshole would most certainly be my undoing. That didn't stop me from studying him though, and then I dared to reach for him with thumb, glancing over the forbidden flesh before moving toward his balls. Every subtle change in the texture of his skin was evident to me. I felt as if I were hyper-aware, feeling tiny pleats, skin roughened by hair and the silky smoothness of his cock. I sucked him in and pulled off of him noisily so the head of his dick could feel that delectable suction and release several times.

As his dick flopped onto his stomach, I decided to leave it there and kiss across the skin on his lower abdomen that was covered in a fine dusting of his hair. It felt so good on my lips. When I got to his hipbone, I trailed my tongue around the protrusion.

"I like that," he whispered as he reached down and latched onto my hair with anxious fingers. "Do it again, please?" I did. "Now teeth?" No problem. I scraped my teeth across his hipbone as I mock bit it before trailing my tongue and giving small nips to his tender skin. When I finally bit him, his fingers tightened around my hair, and a sweet pain shot through my scalp and straight to my groin.

I trailed my tongue down his well-defined V and took a ball into my mouth, tonguing it, teasing it with my lips before engulfing its mate. Only after he was panting did I push his thighs up and tried to bite his ass. I was getting frustrated with the pool ledge, as I had hit my chin several times.

Pulling back abruptly, I dropped his legs. "Fuck it. I'm getting out. I can't do this. The chaise?" I asked, suddenly wondering if it was okay to ask for a change of venue, but my fears were put to rest with his smile and the vision of his juicy ass walking away from me. I swam to the stairs and quickly dried my body. Edward settled down on a large chaise lounge that was made for two to share. He had adjusted the headrest and basically turned it into a bed.

For as bold as I had been feeling in the pool, I was suddenly feeling shy and fearful. He was basically waiting for me, but not in an impatient way. I stood at his feet and watched him recline, tousling my hair with my towel to catch the extra drips.

"Hey. You don't have to do a thing, Jasper. Just lay next to me," and I did. But that didn't last for long. As soon as he buried his fingers in my curls and pulled again, my sex drive got a boost, and I was trailing kisses from his mouth to his neck to his chest and to his stomach. Oh fuck … to his perfect cock. It was buried in my throat again in no time, but Edward was pulling me back up to his face.

"What? What?" I said without hiding my impatience.

"Let me suck you, too, love."

"Oh. Okay, but I want you to lay on top of me," I requested.

We readjusted, and soon he was straddling my head while I lounged beneath him. My hands immediately found his ass, and I directed his twitching cock into my mouth. He took my dick into his mouth, and I groaned at the feel of his warm mouth enveloping me. When he took a depraved rhythm that was going to have me cumming in his mouth within moments, I became so distracted that I barely nursed the rock hard cock in my mouth. Suddenly, he twitched, bringing my attention back to him. I pressed his dick close to his body and teased my tongue against that sensitive gathering of skin before burying it in my throat, or at least trying to. Edward was holding his body above me so he wouldn't choke me, and that's exactly what I wanted him to do. I wanted him to take control.

"Edward, fuck my mouth … hard. Please," I begged. He looked down his body to me, and I let him know with my eyes that I was ready for this.

"Jasper, just hold onto my hips and push me away if it gets to be too much, okay?" he asked. I nodded and leaned toward him before I wrapped my lips around him.

Pulling him closer to me by grabbing onto his ass, I moaned as his silky skin slipped against my tongue, only stopping once it blocked my airflow. He started to fuck my mouth and my throat, gingerly at first as if he were testing the waters but then becoming more deliberate with his movements.

His mouth met my cock again, and the pleasure of his tongue sliding along my shaft mixed with my throat being repeatedly filled was almost too much. When he reached for my balls, I couldn't control the movement of my hips any longer, thrusting into his mouth as he thrust into mine, our rhythms matching.

I grabbed Edward's ass and drew him closer to me, taking deep breaths when he pulled his hips back again. My breathing was becoming erratic, and I had to push him away from me so I could recover. But recovery was the last thing on Edward's mind as he seemed to triple his efforts on my cock. I was overcome with pleasure as my hips thrust up again and again and again. He rolled my balls in his in hand and slipped a wet finger between my cheeks, giving me another sensation to try to decipher.

I tumbled over the edge.

I cried out, the sound echoing throughout the spacious room as my cock spasmed in his mouth, releasing hot cum down his throat in wave after wave. My entire body shuddered as he gently milked every last drop from me.

"Fuck, you taste amazing!" Edward praised.

"Uhm … thanks. I tried out this new recipe…."

"Smart ass!" he said as he slapped my hip and placed a tender kiss on the tip of my cock. "Come up here," he said, gesturing to the spot next to him. As I moved, he lifted the head of the chaise slightly and grabbed a few pillows from the chair next to it. I sat against the cushion, and Edward slipped the pillows behind me so that I was sitting up slightly.

"Do you still want me to fuck that beautiful mouth of yours?" he asked as his teeth pressed into his full bottom lip.

"Fuck yes!"

He straddled my hips and started walking on his knees toward my head, his hard cock bobbing with each movement. His teeth never left his lip. When he got to my chest, his dick dripped on me, a line of clear fluid connecting my left nipple to the tip of his cock. It was a fucking hot sight to see, and I trailed my finger through the line and brought it to my mouth to get another appetizer.

I palmed his ass and buried my fingers deep in his flesh, urging him forward more quickly. Edward grasped onto the frame of the chase behind my head and leaned forward. As soon as his cock brushed against my lips, I let out my breath, practically seeing the moisture teasing his flesh. My tongue darted out to catch a bead that was about to land on my neck. I didn't want to waste a drop of what his body was willing to offer me. Trailing my tongue around his swollen head, I teased all the places that I knew he loved. Sucking him, after months of self-imposed celibacy, was just like climbing back on a fucking bicycle, without the risk of falling and getting road rash. Hell, even if road rash were a possibility, I'd take it just to feel his dick in my mouth again.

Looking up at Edward, I met his eyes. He had been watching every movement I made. His fucked-up sex-hair was wilder than ever after his swim, the air drying it into complete disarray. Everything about him screamed power and control, and that's exactly what I wanted, for him to fucking control me. But first, I needed to tease.

I looked through my lashes into the deep green pools above me and made sure to pull his gaze to my mouth by seductively licking my lips. It worked. As I barely took the head of his cock past my lips, I pulled slightly on the ridge and fluttered my tongue against his frenulum. His eyes rolled back, his lips parted and his head fell to the side. He was fucking loving it! When the tip of my tongue slipped through his slit, gathering another taste, his teeth bit into his bottom lip again … hard. Fuck, he was beautiful, and I was eliciting those reactions and the most beautiful sounds that were pouring from his lips.

Pulling off him noisily, he looked down at me, determining if I was ready, communicating silently with me through only our eyes and the gentle caress he gave my cheekbone. I was _so_ ready. I was _more than_ ready, and when he started to thrust forward, I readily opened my mouth and engulfed him as he drove into me deeply. We maintained eye contact as he slid his thick, hard cock past my lips over and over. I couldn't have looked away if I had wanted to. That was how we were communicating.

I was telling him, "Fuck me harder."

He was answering, "Thank you for letting me."

It was beautiful, and goose bumps broke out all over my body as I realized what we were saying to each other. It was trust. It was trust at its most basic level. He trusted me to tell him if it was too much for me, and even as a tear crept out of the corner of my eye, he didn't stop. He could see from the look on my face that it was not an emotional reaction but a physical one to his cock in my throat, but I wanted it. So, he gave me what I wanted … what I needed. I needed him to control me—to use me in a way. The emotional release it was bestowing on me was cathartic.

His movements were urgent, uncontrolled, and as my fingers clenched onto his fleshy ass, I knew he was about to offer me what I had hoped he would. I looked in his eyes, and he did his best to keep looking at me as he buried himself deep in my throat and let loose. Erupting from his cock was the most wonderful taste ever. Only a few months prior I was positive that I would never be given a chance to taste Edward's flavor on my tongue again. Yet, here it was happening.

My emotions took over as I drained him of everything he had to offer me, and tears readily fell. His eyes never left mine, and he had seen the moment my feelings changed from desire to gratefulness. He _knew_ that this wasn't shame or guilt or pain. It was pure and utter gratitude that he had allowed himself to trust me again.

Edward gazed down at me and smiled the most beautiful smile. It said "Thank you" and "I love you" and more. It said more than words could ever say. It said that I was loved beyond belief and that I no longer had to prove myself. Edward would love me as I was, no matter what.

It was with that thought that I trailed my tongue up his softening cock, placing a kiss on the tip before moving to each hipbone and planting two wet, succulent kisses.

"I love you, Edward," I declared with utter certainty.

He looked down at me and lowered himself so he sat in my lap, his fingers lovingly tracing various features on my face. He looked lost in me, and I let him be, waiting for him to return to the surface.

"You are amazing, Jasper, in so many ways. I'm so lucky," he whispered before our lips met in warm, affectionate kisses that meant so much more than "Thanks for the great blow job." He loved me for what had just happened because I had trusted him. And wasn't that what we both needed?

As our tongues entwined and we tasted ourselves on each other, our flavors mixed as we kissed. I couldn't keep my hands away from his pale skin. I was thankful for all of him, down to the last freckle.

Pulling him against my chest, I sighed at the sensual feel of his breath washing across my neck and shoulder. We were both fully sated and could have so easily fallen asleep on the green cushion beneath me, but we had to get dressed and leave Forks. I resisted until the last possible moment.

When Edward nipped my earlobe and said, "We need to go," I whimpered and pulled him more tightly to my chest. But we dressed and moved around the house making sure everything was situated so that the house could be left empty again for a few months.

Driving away from the familiar town of Forks, I looked over at Edward as he drove east and I took his hand in mine. Never in my life had I been more sure that I was ready to dive in headfirst. Edward was my one and only, and I was his.


End file.
